Goats, God, and His Great Grace 

Pixie, Paisley, & Peanut
 

Ruthie, Roxie, & Scout

Last night I said good- bye to six of my fur babies. It broke my heart and my heart is still hurting this morning. Someone we know and that lives just a few miles down the road bought them and will take great care of them. I am learning that this isn't "no to goats, forever" it is just "no to goats for right now, for this season." After the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart Thursday that it was time to sell the goats, I cried for hours. I cried because I was extremely sad for two reasons: One, I would miss those cute furry creatures that made me smile and brought me joy almost daily. Two, because I knew immediately that giving the goats up was the WISEST things to do. It was BEST for my marriage, for my family, for our finances, for our schedule, and for my heart and the emotional part of my brain that caring for 6 goats (who could often be a handful) required. It is no surprise that I love animals. I always have and always will. I love every animal we have here at our little Smith Farm. The flock of 30+ chickens, the sweet velveteen rabbit, the vocal turkeys, our three lovable dogs and one awesome barn cat. I love them so much that when they are hurt, I hurt for them. When they sick, I worry a lot. When one dies, I have a hard time dealing with it. As one can see, these animals take up a lot of room in my heart and in my mind (on top of the room they fill in my schedule and my checkbook.) So I knew Thursday, when I had prayed and asked God in my heart "What do I do to ease some of the stress I have been dealing with?" In my heart I immediately heard his spirit whisper   “It is time to sell your goats."

Like I said, I CRIED! I cried hard, ugly, sounded like I was choking, but through the tears I texted a farmer down the road and posted my goats for sale on two farm pages on facebook. Within 5 minutes I had OVER FIVE buyers wanting the goats immediately   I knew that God was honoring my obedience. I knew that God was being GRACIOUS to me in providing me a way out. Here is another cool part of the story that I didn't see coming. I sent them message below to some friends that I had asked on Thursday to pray for this situation.

---One more example of God's faithfulness and provision in the past 24 hrs....earlier this week I told Jimmy Maverick would be getting braces July 7th and that we would need to adjust our budget for that. We still have 2 more months to finish paying on Harleigh's first set of braces/ phase 1.

Jimmy was frustrated that we would be paying for both kids to have braces at the same time and was overwhelmed on what to cut from our budget and trying to decide how much money we would put down on his braces. I sold my goats this morning for (X amount of dollars.)

At lunch time I spoke with Wilson Orthodontics to try and prepare financially for Maverick's upcoming appointment the next Friday and they said That I would need to be prepared to put money down on Maverick's braces Friday July 7th and asked if I could put down (The same X amount of dollars as I sold my goats for!) God's provision never ceases to amaze me. He is always on time. He blesses obedience and our intentionality. 

Thankful for the Holy Spirit and his prompting my heart to do make a decision to sell the goats and for God and his always on time provision during this next season of life.

We are in a different season of life than we were a few years ago when we first got our goats. We are in a new and different season with our family, our home, our kids, and our work. We have costs we didn't have a few years ago. We have activities, interests, and needs that require our commitment and attention that we didn't have a few years ago. Our kids are growing up. They are helping make decisions within our family that will affect how they spend their days and directly affects the schedule our family keeps. I am so thankful that the Holy Spirit lives within both of my children and has guided them in being intentional

in what things they say yes to and what they say no to. Harleigh chose to give up formal violin lessons this past spring. She wanted two after-school afternoons a week back to read, swim, get her homework done early and play outside. She loves violin and believes she has learned enough to keep playing at home and church and teach herself. 

Maverick chose to take a season off from baseball. He enjoys the game but was so tired of playing sport after sport back to back with no off- time for 24 months straight. He said I want to come home after school and have more time to swim, read and play outside. He also chose not to sign-up for Jr. Trojans Football this season. ( I love watching him play football so this broke my heart.) He had thought long and hard about it and said he didn't enjoy his positions he was assigned. Even if he got to play both ways the whole game, it just wasn't fun anymore, especially for the time and commitment it requires. He said he loves football and will play again, but maybe not till middle school. For now, he had chosen a light version of football, flag football through Upward Sports.

Seeing the fruits of the Holy Spirit in my children's choices makes my heart so FULL! Prayers I have prayed for myself and for our family are being answered...not just because of what I decide and choose but through the wise choices my children are making through being empowered by the Holy Spirit. This summer we have all been intentional about who and what we say yes to as we feel a strong desire to protect our family time and our time at home. Lots of people don't understand us. Most of the choices we make are counter- cultural in a fallen world and culture that tells us do more to get ahead, max out all you have to get the most of what life has to offer. 

So with all that I have learned this week I am attaching some pictures of the goats, of wisdom from godly women and scripture that has encouraged my heart. I can say as I sit here on this rainy Monday morning that I have a peace that surpasses my understanding. Through the tears I have and am crying as I look out across our property and DON'T see my goats grazing, I DO FEEL the arms of Jesus wrapped around me tight and sense him holding my heart. I trust his heart for me. I never want to settle for less than God's best for me. I am excited for this season we are in now and the things I will be able to say yes to because I have chosen to travel light for this next season and have a greater capacity to open up my mind and heart for what the Lord has instore for myself, my marriage and my family.

Dishes and Dreams

I love how our heavenly father speaks to my heart through His Holy Spirit when I am being faithful in some of the most mundane tasks of caring for my family such as unloading and loading the dishwasher. I get frustrated that no one around here takes the initiative to unload or load it; it frustrates me to tell someone to do it so I unload and load and clean the sink again..... The Lord whispers to my heart "be faithful in the small things." He reminds me that although everyone else has a full belly and has walked away from the table and is hanging out in the living room, that He hasn't forgotten about me. He is there with me while I wash the dishes. He speaks something so tenderly to my heart that only He would know that I just feel as if I am wrapped up in a huge God- sized hug.

Last night, Nov.22nd on a regular Tuesday night, He says to my heart " I haven't forgotten about the things that bring you the most joy. I haven't forgotten about the teamwork you and Jimmy experience and the triumphs you've had as you have made over 5 houses your home over the past 13 years. I know what you want to be when you "grow up." Keep being faithful in the tasks I have given you to accomplish for now. Be faithful in this season and bloom where I have planted you and ordained that you take strong roots...for now. Continue to join me in my work where I have brought you to be my mouthpiece, my hands and feet, to kids,their parents, and your co-workers. I know it isnt 't your most favorite thing but it give you the most time to be with you favorite people-Jimmy, Harleigh, and Maverick. There wil still be time... there can be windows of time even in this season for you to do what brings you the most joy. Be intentional- ask me to provide you opportunities. Make it know what you love to do. Get more experience. Grow more skilled. And Jimmy, yes, I haven't forgotten about him. The skills that his hands are learning will provide for you for the rest of your life in more ways than one. He is a craftsman and a tradesman. Your gifts compliment each other- that is why you work best together and have always called yourselves "project people." I have a plan for you two- it is bigger than the dreams you've dreamed. It is time yet.. today or tomorrow or next year, but it will be time before you know it. Keep doing the work I have given you to do.When you trust me with your dreams and are faithful in obedience to the work and ministry I have given you for now, I wil take your dreams farther than you could ever imagine.

He gave me a word that will one day be the "face" or "name"
for this dream. He showed me how this word has proved true over the past 12 years of my and Jimmy's marriage. How it has proved true through each of the 5 houses we have made our home. He showed me how he has proved this word true time and time again in my life and in my children's lives and how through this dream of one day helping others make their house the home they have envisioned  through redesign, and remodeling that He will give us ways to share our story and be faithful in their first ministry that He calls us to- our family.

Scary to say out loud. I don't know when it will ever happen, but I know that God is a GOOD GOOD FATHER. I know He makes good on His promises. I remind myself of how He has worked in my past so I can TRUST HIM with my future.

For now... if you have a bedroom,nursery, child's room,living room,kitchen,bathroom, porch or any other space that your have a vision for but the thought of shopping for all of the pieces to make it just right, or choosing a paint color makes your eyes cross then I would love to talk with you about it! I do teach full-time. I am a busy mom who coaches my kid's ball teams, But I know that God will give me windows of time to do things that refresh my soul and give me the most joy if I am looking for them with him. He will make the times work out to meet both our needs. I have no formal education in home design but grew up with a mom who was always redecorating.My favorite birthday gift was redecorating my bedroom for my 13th birthday. I was the girl who asked for dishes and home decor my senior year of high school to help make the house
Jimmy and I knew we would buy soon, our home. I bought an antique mantel from the 1800s as well as a two chairs and a couch for my future home with graduation money when I was 18 years old. I am the girl who now lives in a small and simple home, even still when people come over it makes my heart swell when they say " can I walk around and look?" " I feel so at home here" It is so cozy" " your house is so homey and you have all these things to look at in just the right places" " I can tell you like being creative." I always answer them with a thank you and tell them that decorating and making my house a home is my absolute favorite thing to do.

I have a knack for finding the "just right pieces" at the "just right price." Let me know if your have vision or dream for a space in your home that you want but don't enjoy the steps to take to get there.Give me a timeline and a budget and I wil see how I can help you. I really want to coom amazing meals. I wish I loved to make food for people. But I don't.I loathe it. Cooking involves trips to the grocery store- following recipes which is hard for me because ai get distracted.. and cooking makes a mess. I hate messes. So I have finally accepted that cooking isn't one of my gifts and that's ok.  So if you feel the same way about your home and are tired of looking at builder beige walls that have nothing personal or charming on them that tells about the family or people who live there then let me know.

When God Takes You On The Scenic Route...

This is a little long….haven’t written on my blog since last summer….but over the past week the Holy Spirit keeps nudging me to write….. there will be incorrect grammar. there will be typos. I have kids who woke up and wanted breakfast, and dogs who needed to go out to potty and an outside cat my feet... plus the goats and chickens starting at me through the french doors just watching me as I organize my thoughts and type.





"Are we there yet?" "Mom, mom, mom, mom, how many more minutes?" " Dad! Dad, why is it taking so long to get there?" "You said it was 6 hours, so why is it taking 100 hours to get there?" ........Familiar? Every time we drive somewhere further than church or "town" these questions always come from the backseat. The kid's sense of time is not the same as ours. They are usually bored and in a hurry to get where we are going...fast. Riding in the car for long periods of time can be very boring, even with in car DVD players, tablets, and books. Sitting in the car while riding for a long time is very hard for my kids and even me, because we are movers and people who don't sit still for long. We long to get to the store, the mountains, the beach, Disney, Dollywood, the ball game, but we have to drive and ride to get there. The journey is rarely fun, but it is necessary in getting us to our destination which is where we so desperately long to be.





      Do you ever feel like God is taking you on the scenic route? You trust Him to get you where you are going, but it is taking waaaaay too long for Him to get your there?





     Last week while reading my Bible and having my quiet time... I had one of those moments where the words truly spoke to my heart and registered with my Spirit. One of those moments where you look back on events or things that have taken place and you say "oh, ok, now I get it." In a Bible study I am doing at my church under our facilitator and a spiritual mentor of mine, Dawn Smith, we are repeating this phrase every time we read scripture. "Your word is for me and your word is for now." This phrase reminds us that God's word (The Bible) is living. It is alive!  It is active! God has the power to use the Holy Spirit to minister to us and every time we open the Bible and read God's words in scripture we can relate to His words for us specifically and they can speak to us for our life right now. His words can speak to us about our past, our present and give us guidance and His promises for our future.








So as I was sitting there on my front porch, with my coffee cup, my dogs, my Bible, and my journal…A story from the Bible in the Old Testament, Numbers chapter 10 came alive to me. I had my “oh, now I get it moment.” The devotion started with this quote: “Lord, use the dessert days to deepen my faith in you.” –Wendy Pope





Numbers 10:22


            The Israelites were so full of hope to move to a fairer land full of God’s goodness. An 11 day journey had taken them 2 years! (do you ever feel like you are on what should be an 11 day journey and it is taking God 2 years to get you there?)  You see, God in his sovereignty guided his children on the scenic route, rather than the fast track, for their PROTECTION as well as for their EDUCATION. This is where the past 4 years of a life changing journey my family and I have been on just came flooding at me with memories, situations, choices, paths, all part of our journey that I feel like has been the scenic route instead of the most efficient way to get us from point A to point B. When I say we have been on a life changing journey I mean lots has changed in four years, our home ( 3 times), my kid’s school, church, my job, our lifestyle, etc. I asked God so many “Are we there yet?” questions over the past 4 years. Why not me? Why didn’t I get that job? Why didn’t that house work out for us? Why did you send us to this church or that church for this season of our lives? Why is my kid on this ball team or that ball team? Why are they in this class? What is your purpose for me as far as my occupation goes? Why didn’t you allow things to work out for us to buy the land and build the house we have always wanted to build a house on? Why does my husband have to work so much? Why does he have to do a job that is so hard? ……..God! Hurry Up! Get me there! Get me to the promise land where all these questions are answered and all of these “things” are figured out! The Holy Spirit brings this to my mind like a whisper of calm over my heart “God in his sovereignty guided his children on the scenic route, rather than the fast track, for their PROTECTION as well as for their EDUCATION.” Instantly, question after question and situation after situation from the past 4 years was brought to my mind and clearly answered in my heart. God was taking us the long way around because he knows us best. Jimmy can be very stubborn. I am extremely strong- willed. We tend to need a little more time for God to break us down, build us up, and work on us than some others do. Why didn’t our house sell to those people? How did it then sell to these people that live across the country and needed to close and move in in two and a half weeks? We didn’t build a house there because God was educating us and protecting us. He has us in the home we are now for a purpose and is fulfilling dreams and longings here as fast as we dream them. We were patient. We waited for this place. We came about this house in a very unconventional way and God had to guide us through purchasing it step by step for over three months…while we were waiting and had been living in an unfinished basement for 10 months.  I didn’t get that job at that school then, because God knew where our next house would be and where my kids would go to school and he was already making a way for me to work there back then when I hadn’t even thought about it yet. He didn’t give me the teaching job I asked for after taking time off to be a wife and mom for a few years. He didn’t give me the teaching job I wanted at a good school . He gave me the teaching job that wasn’t even really available at the time.. and it was at a great school, the school that is 1 mile from my house and where my kids attend daily! He knew my kids needed to be in this class or that class to help push them to be their best, rise above, and work harder. He gave them the right teacher at the right time to grow them specifically in the season they were in. He knew the ball team we needed to be on to help and push my kids to give their best no matter their circumstance. He brought relationships and friends ships that are enduring and lasting much longer than a losing ball season. Though Jimmy’s hard physical work, he has blessed Jimmy with exposure and experience. He has been exposed to so many things construction wise that he can do ALMOST anything which has been necessary and essential as we are “always under-construction at our current home which is a fixer-upper.” Through his hard physical work, God is also setting him apart. Not many men can do what he can do. Not many men are willing to work that hard, for that long, in the weather…..He has been given leadership at work and while learning to lead others at work he is also leading more at home.





     You see during the past 4 years, we have gotten discouraged a lot. Our kids have. I have. Jimmy has. Sometimes we still do. I am very discouraged and heart-broken over a situation this morning, even as I write this… “Discouragement can easily take root when our expectations don’t align with God’s timing. Worry replaces peace, and contentment and turns into complaining. What if our wilderness experience is where God will reveal himself to us and prepare us for a bigger purpose? “ –Wendy Pope


 


  


 


 


 


  While in the wilderness we can often:


            See his miracles more clearly


            Feel his presence more intensely


           Worship him more authentically


           Obey him more sincerely

• From First Five, Wendy Pope with Proverbs 31 ministries

 


John 5:17 ….even when we don’t think God is working he is!


 


1 John 4:13 “This is how we know that we live in him and he in us. He has given us his spirit.”


 


 


        I am reminded of another time during the past 4 years where I felt that I was on the long way around/ the scenic route. I was in another summer Bible study at Lakewood and it was July 2014. It was a study by Priscilla Shirer on Discerning the Voice of God. I was in the middle of unpacking and moving into the house we live in now. I was trying to decide what to do about school and leave my kids where they were comfortable and happy and provide my own transportation for them and keep them there through the charter program OR leave the school we loved, leave their friends and make new ones, leave the teachers I had gotten to know and go to a new school, the school right through the fields and woods from our house as the crow flies. I was trying so hard to know how to make that decision. I was in tears over it. I felt sick over it. Then I was brought to the story in the Bible about Moses and God speaking to him in the dessert through a burning bush. I remembered something from one of Priscilla’s video lessons….”Bushes don’t burn in the palace….bushes burn in the dessert.” Moses had to get out of the palace. He had to get out of his comfort zone. He was in the dessert, but all the time in the dessert had put him in a situation where he was very focused on God. He had to trust God with that season of being in the dessert and with the how do I get theres? And with the what do what do I do next? Now that I am away from my home, out of my comfort zone and this is not what I am used to…. God was protecting Moses and educating him to be a great leader for his people and influence, lead, and help change many lives, not to mention history!


 


            Back to the Israelites in the dessert….. remember, they were traveling. They were depending on the Lord. Numbers 9:23 “At the Lord’s command they encamped, and at the Lord’s command they set out. They obeyed the Lord’s order in accordance with his command through Moses.  “The cloud was shade by day and fire by night. It would rise and fall to tell them when to set up camp or when to move on. It was also a message to surrounding nations that God’s favor was on them.”” When the time arrived to pack up and go, they forged ahead into the unknown wilderness with bold confidence trusting God was leading and protecting them.


Deut. 31:8 (…He goes before me…)


Isaiah 30:21 ( …this is the way, walk in it…)


Romans 8:31, 37 ( We are more than conquerors)





- Wendy Blight


The Israelites never knew when the cloud would move. They watched, they waited and they obeyed. When we are on the scenic route, we don’t always know when God will tell us to turn next or make a move; we have to watch, wait, and obey so we are ready to make to turn or get off the exit when he tells us to!


I have a note in the margin of my Bible that goes back to Jan. 5, 2008. Dawn Smith reminded me of a promise I could pray and count on God for. We were trying to sell another home we had and find a home in a different area and that was a better fit as Harleigh was almost 1 year old at the time and I was pregnant and expecting Maverick that August. Dawn reminded me of Deuteronomy 1:32-33 “But even after all he did, you refused to trust the Lord your God. Who goes before you looking for the best places for you to camp, guiding you with a pillar of fire by night and a pillar of a cloud by day.”  


Instead of the cloud, we have the Holy Spirit that lives within us at all times. (Romans. 8:14) She said, Lindsey! The Lord has determined your boundaries, just like he did the Israelites. He had gone before you and knows the best place for your family to set camp. Trust him. Claim this promise. He is good! Y’all, I know this to be true! I have clung to this verse on many scenic routes and long journeys and can say He goes before us. He knows the best route! He knows the best path for our journey and plans our route specifically to align it with his will and purpose for our life and how he can best use us and get the most glory for our story


 I prayed that same verse 5 more times and made notes in my Bible from Jan. 2008 to Oct. 2015 because it specifically applied to my waiting on a home and a job. God is so faithful!





     I am now praying for God to help me be BOLD and stay in the car with him on my next journey….teaching 2^nd grade!   I have moments where I just want to jump out or while we are at a rest/ food/ gas stop….I hope I can sneak off without him noticing. ) It is a new grade for me to teach! A new group of ladies to teach with! A new age of kids to teach and curriculum that isn’t all that familiar to me, but God made a way for me and has brought me to this position and for that I am thankful. I don’t have a whole lot of confidence in myself but I do HAVE CRAZY STRONG CONFIDENCE IN GOD because I know without a doubt that he has determined this is the best place for me to set camp occupationally. I know it is where he will best use me and I know that he will get the glory for making me strong when I feel weak  and uncomfortable and growing me to know more about him and his character, and his heart for me.





 


So….all this to say….Thank God for the scenic route. This morning and over the past week, I have a new appreciation for the journey is has taken me on to get to where I am today. BUT I have to be so intentional on remembering and sharing how God has worked in my past to trust him to work in my future. I get in a hurry. I panic. I FREAK OUT! I cry a lot. I get “fear paralyzed” and forget everything he has ever done for me at times. Then I open my Bible or my journal that is filled with words that the Holy Spirit has given my heart when I need reassurance to continue on the journey God has for me and to let go of the steering wheel and sit back and enjoy the scenic route that God has already prepared in advance for me.


                        A grateful girl that is super grateful he provides grace for the MOMent,

Lindsey

Brave Moms Raise Brave Kids. Am I Brave?

     

*I am sure there are typos! I am still getting used to a new and different laptop,and get interrupted by kids, dogs, a rabbit, and four goats who stand by the French doors and bleat and beg for the kids to let them in the house - again.

   I was running the other night (aka slow jogging) and I was listening to a podcast message/ sermon of Jen Hatmaker that she spoke on Mother's Day at Willow Creek Community Church. Listening to podcasts while I walk / run is a new thing for me, but I LOVE it! I have a very hard time sitting still. I have a very hard time sitting down long enough to read a chapter in a book. However, I do know that I am a kinesthetic learner and I learn best when I am moving my feet. Listening to truth from God's word while I exercise has had a major influence on me lately. I am alone, meditating, and thinking about each word that is spoken and it helps me not get bored, distracts me from the sweat dripping down my elbows and the throbbing pain in my calves and helps me continue to put one foot in front of the other.

       While listening to this podcast I heard Jen make this statement and it resonated with me. I kept thinking about it for the next few days and it just kept marinating in my head. She said this, "Scared moms raise scared kids and Brave moms raise brave kids." Then I asked myself which am I? Are my kids brave? Am I a brave mom? I thought to myself, well .....I think Harleigh and Maverick are both brave. They are not afraid to go to new places, meet new friends, try new things, make friends with every animal they meet, learn a new sport, participate in outdoor adventures like hiking, boating, kayaking, paddle boarding, snorkeling, hunting, fishing. They are not afraid to speak up and tell others right from wrong, and about how Jesus loves them and are trying their best to obey God and their parents. Sometimes they are irresponsible, they don't choose to do the right thing, but they endure the consequences- that is braver than a lot of kids their age. I thought to myself, how are my kids so brave when I don't feel like I am a brave mom?

        Then I heard that quiet whisper in my spirit, you know the one wear you get teary eyed, sweaty, and you almost choke on the lump in your throat because your Heavenly Father is whispering to your heart through the Spirit of Truth. And you hear Him say "Lindsey, you are a brave mom, because you are the daughter of a brave king. Not just any king, but The King of Kings." I thought, then why don't I feel brave? Why do I often feel like a wimp or a pansy that is scared to try new things, put myself out there, challenge myself more? I remember when I used to be confident. I as strong-willed, determined, sure of my capabilities.....then I became a wife, then a mother......and I am more unsure of everything and really only sure of three things. I am sure that you love me, that I love you, and that I need your help in loving others and with EVERYTHING else. I am sure that even with all of our past fears, fights, and failures that I am supposed to be Jimmy Smith's wife for my whole life. And I am sure that being Harleigh and Maverick's mama is favorite thing in the whole world....and well, God that is about it. I am not sure what I want to do for a living for the next 32 years. I am not sure if I can still run another 5K. I am not sure I can blog again. I am not sure I can keep leading worship-keep opening up and sharing my heart and my struggles with others. Lord, it takes me forever to choose a shirt everyday that doesn't cling to my after babies belly and adjust it and the waist band of my pants just "so" because I don't want to look pregnant or like I just had a baby when my last baby is about to turn seven years old in August!

          Then that still small voice reminded me of something I wrote in my journal and a blog I wrote in August / Sept 2013(called: In the middle of the month, the money, and the clothes rack.) It is probably in my blog archives but I am not tech savvy enough to figure out how to insert the link to it above :) So anyways that still small voice reminded me of a truth that I read in a Beth Moore Bible Study. "We have to be INTENTIONAL about remembering how God has worked in our past, so that we can trust him with working in our future." You see, in my whiny, woe is me moments, I forgot and often forget How God Has Been Faithful To ME. See we battle a three fold enemy and we have to be INTENTIONAL- ON PURPOSE about remembering what God has done for us, in us and through us and PAY ATTENTION to those  whispers from our Heavenly Father so we can shout truth over the lies from our enemies: our own flesh, Satan, and the world!

         So I got intentional. I paid attention and a flood of  experiences that have happened in past several years where I was a brave mom came to my mind. I was a depressed brand new mom who didn't feel like I was doing a good job as a wife, mother, or public school teacher. It would have been a lot easier to keep shoving my feelings to the side or just choose to not be here on this earth at all than to tell someone I knew things weren't right, I wasn't thinking healthy thoughts, ask for help, and years later share my story with others who need to know that they can be brave too and that with God and their church family they can choose to keep on living- that is brave. He reminded me that every time I get on stage with Jimmy and we are transparent and authentic, sometimes get red faced, choked up, tears spilling down our cheeks while leading others in worship and share about how God is growing us, telling others how he is still using us to ministering to others in spite of our struggles, that -that is being brave. He reminded me that I stood firm in my convictions when it came to what was healthy for me and my family and at the end of the 2012 school year I left a secure, salaried teaching job to stay home, do the  hard work and ministry that needed to happen within my own family and to get myself back to a healthy place. Selling your dream car, most all of your really nice stuff, and putting the house up for sell that you thought you would live in forever -that is brave.
He reminded me that working odds and ends jobs ( substitute teaching, cleaning houses, detailing cars, pet sitting, baby sitting,) for a year and then going to work in the office of a chicken and meat packing plant for four months because you knew you had to be obedient and make your house payment until your house sold-and you could pay your home loan in full,- that was brave. Living in your sister-in-laws UNFINISHED basement ( think wood studs, concrete,  home depot smell) no toilet or sink for a month till we installed one, no heat or air, no shower or tub for 4 months until we installed one, cooking on a concrete floor with a griddle or George Foreman grill and extension cords, packing a storage trailer with all your stuff not knowing when and where you would be unpacking for 10 months while you were financially obedient and faithful, sharing what God was doing in your marriage and family with others, and waiting patiently for the right home to buy -that was brave.

 Buying a home that wasn't even up for sale. Learning how to be your own realtor, taking a class,  and representing the seller who lives in Arizona and helping her sell her home long-distance so you can buy it- that was brave. Buying a neglected, fixer upper-that was brave. Changing your kids school and all of us making new friends-that was brave. Running my first 5K, when I hate to run and only ran in the past for sports conditioning- that was brave.  Helping my husband work on our home, learning to do everything ourselves, and building a barn, getting goats and fencing in our whole property-that is brave. Saying yes to being a Mentor Mom to other young moms through Lakewood's MOPS ministry and laughing, crying, sharing your story- giving God the glory, and putting your arm around them as they share theirs- that is brave. Tithing and placing your full trust in God to provide when there looks like there isn't even enough money - that is brave. Making new friends with people who will hold you accountable and speak God's truth into your life whether you want to hear it or not-that is brave.
Choosing to be counter-cultural, train your  children up and parent them according to God's word and not what the latest liberal - popular psycho babble parenting trend is- that is brave.

       So mama friends, and anyone else reading this today, I want you to know that YOU ARE BRAVE! Maybe you are like me. Maybe you don't believe that you once were brave , are brave, and will be brave again. Maybe you don't know the God that I know and how he guides you holds, your hand, and helps you be brave. Maybe you need to ask God right now to help you remember how he has come through for you or that you need him to come through for you and save your heart right now. Maybe you need his help remembering how he is always faithful, and how he has trained you up with his Holy word, to be a brave daughter or son of the King of Kings. Maybe a door has been opened for you but it is different, scary, out of your comfort zone door to walk through. Remind yourself that you are brave and that it is not about what you can accomplish in your mere human strength but what you can accomplish with God and what he an do in and through you, if you allow him to take your hand and walk ahead of your through that door. It may seem like a dessert. Like you don't know where the water source is, where the spikey plants are, where the shelter is, or the dangerous animals and poisonous snakes are, BUT your guide- your Brave King, he has already been there. He knows all the answers and I am positive that your obedience and bravery will be honored, blessed and rewarded. I read last summer in a Priscilla Shirer Bible study that "bushes don't burn in the palace, bushes burn in the dessert." So join me in being brave. I am writing this blog just as much for myself, because there is an open door, with a lot of unknowns, that I am asking God and His Holy Spirit to help me be brave enough to walk through.

a brave daughter of the King, so thankful He gives me grace for the MOMent,
Lindsey

Hustle ( first blog in 19 months)

Hey, there! Whew! I don't think I have "blogged" or posted on my blog since September 2013!!!! Yikes, life sure does happen and my address has changed 3 times since then! Recently, several people have asked me about my blog and why I stopped blogging. I am not sure other than my laptop broke (got a new one this Christmas) and just lots of change in my life and stress -plus we lived in an unfinished basement for 10 mos after we sold our house in Oct. 2013, while we looked forever to find our current home and I HAD and still HAVE tons to write about from basement life but just have a lot to process first. SO a friend told me that I was basically blogging through facebook ( which I realize is true- just easier to write and post thru my phone when I feel led to.) So I am going to go back through some of my facebook blog-like posts and re-post on my blog for those of you who would rather read through this format! Thanks for reading:)

 HUSTLE

 This year we sure are enjoying watching, coaching, and cheering on Harleigh and
Maverick in their first basketball season and first time playing a
sport. They aren't on teams that are having winning seasons and they are
learning a lot about how to NOT give up, even when your team is down

practicing in the rain

several points and to find the "heart" within them and HUSTLE and keep at it until the buzzer sounds at the end of the 4th quarter. With every game they they give their best effort and NOT for a moment sulk or walk up and down the court, or bend over and hang their head- they GET STRONGER. They learn to try and try again. We often learn MUCH MORE from FAILURE and DEFEAT than we ever do from VICTORY and SUCESS. 

If  Maverick's team won a lot of games I am not so sure he would come home after every game and shoot basketball for hours because he wants to play better next week- or practice as soon as he gets home from school. If Harleigh's team won most of their games, I am not so sure that she would go to 2 extra practices a week and practice with my and her brother's team to improve her skills. So in a way, I am thankful they havn't had it easy this first season.

I was always small growing up- like Harleigh. I was never the biggest,
tallest, or even the most naturally skilled, but I WANTED IT and decided
that all it took to HUSTLE was to have HEART and give my best effort.

It served me well. I looooved basketball but in high school decided I was better suited for soccer and wanted to play that sport year round - and through hustling was able to play competetivly, travel ball, letter 4 years varisty and later on play a season of college ball. I kind of came up with a motto for myself and later when I became a PE teacher and coach shared it over and over with kids I taught and coached  and now  I am sharing it with my own children.

 " Whatever you lack in talent or skill, make up for in heart and in hustle." - Lindsey Dunahoo Smith

Anyone and Everyone CAN
HUSTLE. You just have to stay on your toes, move your feet, be where theball is, get after it. My kids have SO MUCH to learn about baksetball. They still need to learn the fundamentals, learn to see the court, develop ball sense, become better ball handlers, and improve their skills. All those things will come with time, practice and experience. BUT I can honestly say that after each game win, lose, or tie, we COULD NOT be MORE PROUD TO BETHEIR PARENTS because they Wanted It in their HEARTS and they HUSTLED the entire time their feet were on the floor. They were in tears after each lost game and wanted to know what to work on or how to get better while many around them had already moved onto laughing, what's for lunch?, or lets go to the movies, etc.

We are not going to eat,
sleep, and breathe basketball. We sure do love it, but we AREN'T
counting on our kids getting college scholarships or playing
professionally. If God has other plans then we willbe cool with that too! They already have and will continue to learn so many
life skills and life lessons through playing basketball. They have learned how to get along and play with kids that get on their nerves and that they don't particularly like because they have learned what "team" means and how to work together with others towards a common goal. They have learned how to be tough and play through bumps and bruises. They have learned how to take compliments when strangers commend them for their hustle and heart after a game.They have learned commitment and to stay committed when even some of their peers and leaders have become slack and  thrown in the towel early. Their YES REALLY MEANS YES,( not just when they feel like it or it is convenient)  and they will show up to practice and play for every game and every practice unless they are truly sick or their is a family emergency.  They have learned to never never give up and that the only person they can change and improve is themselves.

 HUSTLE means one thing in athletics, but in the WORK PLACE/ At YOUR JOB, HUSTLE
is Spelled WORK ETHIC. So I am proud of my kids for " Getting After It"whether their team is winning or losing, because OUR values of  HEART and HUSTLE have already translated over to school- academics- contributing to our family at home and will ONE DAY translate overto their work place, their job, and career. 

#HUSTLE
#GETAFTERIT
#Lifelessons

-Lindsey

Grace for the MOMent

first blog in 18 mos test blog

test blog
testing.....

Happy Five years Maverick! High Five God! Five years of surprise blessings!

Maverick. We just celebrated his 5th birthday a few weeks ago On August 19th, 2013. Man, how time flies! It seems it was just like last week in the year 2007, my 10 month old baby girl Harleigh started teething and got her first tooth, that I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant with her future brother- Maverick! I was shocked, SURPRISED, a little happy, and honestly ......honestly a lot of sad..... I already had a 10 month old baby! How could I be pregnant? Scientifically, who knows? For all we knew, I was having problems and hadn't ovulated or had a regular cycle since I had given birth to Harleigh back in January 2007 and that on top of Jimmy's infertility  issues and Harleigh being a miracle, another baby this soon, was just IMPOSSIBLE right??? I cut my lovely, long hair off really short :( because I thought thought there would be no time for long hair anymore). Five and a half years later I am still growing it out. I was vain and angry because I had worked hard and given up Coke and bread for almost 9 months people!  and worked out hard  to lose my baby weight and get into my size 2 skinny jeans by the time Harleigh was 9 months old. I was just feeling good about myself. Because for the past 9 months I wasn't sure I was good at the whole mom thing and was doing my best to survive each day! Keeping everyone fed, everyone's clothes washed, learning to balance my many roles in life, and putting one foot in front of the other. I was recovering from serious post-partum depression. It hadn't been too long ago since March 2007 when I attempted to take my own life because I believed Satan's lies that I wasn't a good enough mother, wife, daughter, teacher, or friend.  I didn't think I was cut out for the life God had given me and Jimmy and Harleigh would be better off without me. I was so incredibly selfish. I was so deep in my own tears and shame that I forgot that God had already given me everything I needed to fulfill all of the roles he had given me. I am so thankful I belong to Christ and my life is not my own. He is still working on me. Making me who I ought to be! I completely forgot who I was in Christ and drown in "mom comparisons" of believing that my friends and other new mom's had it all together and enjoyed every moment of being pregnant, delivery, and were thankful for every poopy diaper they changed and ounce of spit up their baby projected onto their sofa or clean shirt. I was overwhelmed and over analyzed every decision I made: go back to work or stay home? bottle feed or breast feed? strict schedule or go with the flow? pacifier or no pacifier? And the most detrimental part of it all was that I didn't share how I felt with anyone other than Jimmy and he did not know how to support me or understand what I was going through. He was just angry and frustrated that the fun loving, confident, prepared, Lindsey he knew was long gone, an had been replaced with a miserable, sad, depressed, timid, quiet, girl who he didn't know and didn't care to know. I was so self -absorbed with all that was wrong with me I completely disregarded his needs and how much having a baby had changed his life too. Having a baby rocked our world and our marriage so ANOTHER baby couldn't be a good thing for us! Right? WRONG, WAY WRONG! WE WERE WRONG.......GOD KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS DOING!


So this post is about Maverick, but the back story- pre-Maverick is really important so you can fully understand the gift and blessing he is to us! There were ups and downs in my pregnancy with Maverick: placenta previa, low amniotic fluid, selling our home, moving into a new and bigger home, teaching at a different school, and not being able to rest because I was chasing around a 1 year old. Keeping me on my toes was just Maverick's and God's way of  presenting me with challenges so that when the next challenge came I could look back and remember how faithful God was and how he brought me through it. On August 18th I was hot, swollen, tired, and miserable. I laid down several times during the day when I wasn't teaching a class. I went to the doctor after school and they said I was dilated 5 cm but I hadn't really been having contractions. They scheduled me to have an amniocentesis in two days, Wednesday August 20th to check his lungs and think about inducing me for pre-mature dilation since he wasn't due for 3 more weeks. I went to our bible study that night and our sweet friends the Smiths, Ewers, and Lesters prayed for us and prayed for Maverick.  On Tuesday August 19th, 2008 Around 5: 30am I thought I was going to get up and get ready for work but Maverick SURPRISED us once again and my water broke! At dark-thrity, we handed Harleigh off to our sweet friends and neighbors Stephen and Michele Lester and took off to the hospital.  Maverick Hayden Smith  was born at 12:59 pm weighing 7 lbs and 3 oz, ( 3 weeks early, so they said.)

We brought him home two days later.  I thought he was perfect. I felt pretty great for just having had a baby and was ready for company and visitors. The second time around was MUCH MUCH MUCH easier than it was with Harleigh. He was a sweet, sweet baby, but CRIED A LOT! A WHOLE LOT! We didn't understand why our voices didn't soothe him. We didn't understand why music or the sound machine didn't soothe him? Why did he have to scream and cry so loud!  We were tired. His crying would wake up his sister. I couldn't figure out why putting him on a schedule wasn't as easy as it was with his sister. We didn't understand what was wrong. Well we got a another huge SURPRISE when Maverick was 4 or 5 weeks old, I got a call from our early intervention service coordinator caseworker? What we have a case worker? Demanding to know why we hadn't sought help and taken the next steps for our babies hearing issues. Some how there was a miscommunication from the hospital letting us know that Maverick had failed his newborn hearing screenings, and referred both ears. They gave him the tests a few times and he did not pass. We had no clue because our first baby had passed her newborn hearing screens and had no issues. We didn't even know hearing screens were given. Now, we understood why music, voices, and sound didn't soothe Maverick. It is because he couldn't hear them! I became very upset and wondered why God would give me this unexpected baby and wonderful surprise but not let him hear? Between 5 weeks old and 10 weeks old  we took numerous trips to the doctor, audiologist and pediatric ENT. We had numerous hearing screens, tympanograms, ABR auditory brain-stem response tests, audiology tests, and still Maverick was labeled with hearing loss and hadn't passed his hearing tests. At 12 weeks old on December 3rd we went down to Children's Health Care at Scottish Rite and he had ear surgery to remove vernix, fluid, and bacteria in his middle ear and insert typanostomy tubes (ear tubes) so that his eustachian tubes would have help draining fluid as they grew and developed, help Maverick to be able to hear and prevent ear infections. We were told that his speech/ auditory processing would most likely be delayed and to make sure we stayed on top of all of our appointments for his periodic hearing screens, and audiology tests so that we could continue to get him on the path to normal hearing. Our small group prayed over his little ears. Friends and family prayed for him. I laid in his bed with him at night with my hands on his ears praying for God to make them work and let him hear!!! Trying to communicate with Maverick from 12-36 months was very frustrating for us as well as others. We learned that he did have some hearing but we weren't sure how much. A lot of things sounded like a whisper to him. If it wasn't at a certain decibel level he couldn't hear it well. We were told it was kind of like being under water and trying to hear. He had poor balance and depth perception,  was clumsy, fell and hit his head often. He CRIED A LOT because he didn't understand what we wanted or expected from him and he didn't have the communication skills to tell us I cried a lot because I was frustrated. I didn't know how to parent him. When he did talk, he couldn't really hear himself so it was hard for all of us to understand. On the outside he was cute, handsome, tall for his age, almost the same size as his very bright and advanced older sister and others became easily frustrated with him because he was so hard to understand and communicate with.

At 3 years old right after his 3rd birthday, HE PASSED HIS HEARING TESTS IN BOTH EARS!!!  Slowly but surely, as he began to hear more, he began to speak more. Most of what he said made no sense and we could barely understand but we were THRILLED TO HEAR HIS LITTLE VOICE ON A REGULAR BASIS! Year three was still tough because I was trying to read up and learn things to do at home to help his language skills, speech, and auditory processing develop and he would get frustrated when we didn't understand what he was trying to tell us, but God was faithful and once again took care of us. Maverick got drawn for the free GA pre-k program and got to have the WONDERFUL teachers his sister had the year before, Mrs. Brandi and Mrs. Teresa. Maverick started pre-k 9 days before his 4th birthday. People rolled their eyes when I told them I felt it was important to start him young rather than hold him back. Inside of me, my mommy instincts said to fight for him. Challenge him. He is an overcomer. He has always suprised us. God would take care of him and he would be ok! He had such a wonderful pre-k experience. He was blessed with wonderful teachers and therapists who went the extra mile, took the extra approach and give him the extra time to learn and reach his potential. He was surrounded by 21 other kids, who were a little older than him, and talked and listened better than he did. You know what happens when you are surrounded with people who are better than you are at something? You get better! You rise to the challenge. You learn more, faster! Maverick progressed and grew more during his pre-k year 2012-2013 than we could have ever imagined! We really really got to communicate with, understand, and talk to our son!Our friends and family will testify that they saw a huge change in Maverick during his 4th year and pre-k.

Maverick started kindergarten 9 days before his 5th birthday. I got the same looks, and eye rolls from people about not holding him back. We couldn't do the free pre-k twice. We can't afford a private pre-k. If I kept him home, he would most likely regress. So he started kindergarten and so far has had an awesome experience. God placed him in Kathi Chastain's class. Without a doubt, I know that she is the teacher that HE needs. He does get frustrated. He gets tired. He needs redirection at times. He may continue to surprise us and learn all his letters, numbers, and began to read this year. Or he may need more time. He may learn to right and recognize his whole name or we may be thrilled when we can write Mav on his own. He may need to do kindergarten again and if he does, then that is ok!  Since school started this year he has spoken to us in complete sentences! He loves school! He repeats things verbatim. He is remembering and comprehending! We love hearing what he has to say! Because whether people know it or not He teaches me something everyday! He is a testimony and symbol of God's faithfulness. He is a reminder that God is our healer! He has been a little vessel that in just 5 years of his young life has pointed so many people to the Lord. God is getting the Glory for Maverick's story! God has healed, and carried, and provided, and supported Maverick. He is with Maverick and for Maverick! And through Maverick, I know God is going to do great things! It may not be in typical ways or ways I would have imagined but I know he will. We serve a mighty God. He has given Maverick a good earthly daddy in Jimmy and is always working on Maverick's behalf as his heavenly father who wants to give good gifts to his children.Maverick is going to be just fine! I am thankful for the opportunity to raise this little boy and trust God in helping Jimmy and I to mold him in to a man after God.


Maverick is the child I didn't think I wanted at first. He has become the child that I didn't know I NEEDED!!! God knew it! He knew Maverick would be a testimony to others of what God can do and will do in the simplest of forms. He knew that through Maverick's struggles I would draw nearer to God for the strength and endurance I needed to be Maverick's mom. He has given me a love for my son and special place in my heart for Maverick that I didn't think could exist. How thankful I am for the SURPRISE he is to us. It is such a JOY to be Maverick's mommy! He keeps us humble! He knows just when and how to embarrass us! He knows when to say the sweetest things and melt our hearts. He is funny! He is silly! He is affectionate!  He is eager to please! He is wild and adventurous and brave! He is always on the go (my mom says his indian name would be " wind in my hair") but he is also afraid of the dark, being alone, and monsters in his closet.

What a surprise blessing having the stomach virus with Maverick has been. I am thankful that having the stomach virus with Maverick the past two days has slowed life down. Given me uninterrupted time with him. Camping out in my bedroom just the two of us with towels, sheets, and trash cans. Watching 15 episodes of Jake and the Neverland Pirates with him. Sitting in my bed eating crackers, drinking powerade, and laughing with him. Noticing mannerisms of his that I would be too busy to notice other wise.  Sitting on the bathroom floor at 3am talking to him while he sits on the potty because his tummy is hurting and he is scared of the dark. Snuggling with him. Feeling my heart break for him when he is leaning over a trashcan, with tears in his eyes, asking me why God let him get sick? Hearing him be thankful and tell me thank you for doing the smallest things for him. I am thankful I finally got around to writing this post. It is long-winded. Probably TMI, but I felt the urge to write it. I hope it helps others reflect on, and be thankful for their unexpected blessings and surprises in life and give God a high five for being so faithful to all of his children.