Brave Moms Raise Brave Kids. Am I Brave?

     

*I am sure there are typos! I am still getting used to a new and different laptop,and get interrupted by kids, dogs, a rabbit, and four goats who stand by the French doors and bleat and beg for the kids to let them in the house - again.

   I was running the other night (aka slow jogging) and I was listening to a podcast message/ sermon of Jen Hatmaker that she spoke on Mother's Day at Willow Creek Community Church. Listening to podcasts while I walk / run is a new thing for me, but I LOVE it! I have a very hard time sitting still. I have a very hard time sitting down long enough to read a chapter in a book. However, I do know that I am a kinesthetic learner and I learn best when I am moving my feet. Listening to truth from God's word while I exercise has had a major influence on me lately. I am alone, meditating, and thinking about each word that is spoken and it helps me not get bored, distracts me from the sweat dripping down my elbows and the throbbing pain in my calves and helps me continue to put one foot in front of the other.

       While listening to this podcast I heard Jen make this statement and it resonated with me. I kept thinking about it for the next few days and it just kept marinating in my head. She said this, "Scared moms raise scared kids and Brave moms raise brave kids." Then I asked myself which am I? Are my kids brave? Am I a brave mom? I thought to myself, well .....I think Harleigh and Maverick are both brave. They are not afraid to go to new places, meet new friends, try new things, make friends with every animal they meet, learn a new sport, participate in outdoor adventures like hiking, boating, kayaking, paddle boarding, snorkeling, hunting, fishing. They are not afraid to speak up and tell others right from wrong, and about how Jesus loves them and are trying their best to obey God and their parents. Sometimes they are irresponsible, they don't choose to do the right thing, but they endure the consequences- that is braver than a lot of kids their age. I thought to myself, how are my kids so brave when I don't feel like I am a brave mom?

        Then I heard that quiet whisper in my spirit, you know the one wear you get teary eyed, sweaty, and you almost choke on the lump in your throat because your Heavenly Father is whispering to your heart through the Spirit of Truth. And you hear Him say "Lindsey, you are a brave mom, because you are the daughter of a brave king. Not just any king, but The King of Kings." I thought, then why don't I feel brave? Why do I often feel like a wimp or a pansy that is scared to try new things, put myself out there, challenge myself more? I remember when I used to be confident. I as strong-willed, determined, sure of my capabilities.....then I became a wife, then a mother......and I am more unsure of everything and really only sure of three things. I am sure that you love me, that I love you, and that I need your help in loving others and with EVERYTHING else. I am sure that even with all of our past fears, fights, and failures that I am supposed to be Jimmy Smith's wife for my whole life. And I am sure that being Harleigh and Maverick's mama is favorite thing in the whole world....and well, God that is about it. I am not sure what I want to do for a living for the next 32 years. I am not sure if I can still run another 5K. I am not sure I can blog again. I am not sure I can keep leading worship-keep opening up and sharing my heart and my struggles with others. Lord, it takes me forever to choose a shirt everyday that doesn't cling to my after babies belly and adjust it and the waist band of my pants just "so" because I don't want to look pregnant or like I just had a baby when my last baby is about to turn seven years old in August!

          Then that still small voice reminded me of something I wrote in my journal and a blog I wrote in August / Sept 2013(called: In the middle of the month, the money, and the clothes rack.) It is probably in my blog archives but I am not tech savvy enough to figure out how to insert the link to it above :) So anyways that still small voice reminded me of a truth that I read in a Beth Moore Bible Study. "We have to be INTENTIONAL about remembering how God has worked in our past, so that we can trust him with working in our future." You see, in my whiny, woe is me moments, I forgot and often forget How God Has Been Faithful To ME. See we battle a three fold enemy and we have to be INTENTIONAL- ON PURPOSE about remembering what God has done for us, in us and through us and PAY ATTENTION to those  whispers from our Heavenly Father so we can shout truth over the lies from our enemies: our own flesh, Satan, and the world!

         So I got intentional. I paid attention and a flood of  experiences that have happened in past several years where I was a brave mom came to my mind. I was a depressed brand new mom who didn't feel like I was doing a good job as a wife, mother, or public school teacher. It would have been a lot easier to keep shoving my feelings to the side or just choose to not be here on this earth at all than to tell someone I knew things weren't right, I wasn't thinking healthy thoughts, ask for help, and years later share my story with others who need to know that they can be brave too and that with God and their church family they can choose to keep on living- that is brave. He reminded me that every time I get on stage with Jimmy and we are transparent and authentic, sometimes get red faced, choked up, tears spilling down our cheeks while leading others in worship and share about how God is growing us, telling others how he is still using us to ministering to others in spite of our struggles, that -that is being brave. He reminded me that I stood firm in my convictions when it came to what was healthy for me and my family and at the end of the 2012 school year I left a secure, salaried teaching job to stay home, do the  hard work and ministry that needed to happen within my own family and to get myself back to a healthy place. Selling your dream car, most all of your really nice stuff, and putting the house up for sell that you thought you would live in forever -that is brave.
He reminded me that working odds and ends jobs ( substitute teaching, cleaning houses, detailing cars, pet sitting, baby sitting,) for a year and then going to work in the office of a chicken and meat packing plant for four months because you knew you had to be obedient and make your house payment until your house sold-and you could pay your home loan in full,- that was brave. Living in your sister-in-laws UNFINISHED basement ( think wood studs, concrete,  home depot smell) no toilet or sink for a month till we installed one, no heat or air, no shower or tub for 4 months until we installed one, cooking on a concrete floor with a griddle or George Foreman grill and extension cords, packing a storage trailer with all your stuff not knowing when and where you would be unpacking for 10 months while you were financially obedient and faithful, sharing what God was doing in your marriage and family with others, and waiting patiently for the right home to buy -that was brave.

 Buying a home that wasn't even up for sale. Learning how to be your own realtor, taking a class,  and representing the seller who lives in Arizona and helping her sell her home long-distance so you can buy it- that was brave. Buying a neglected, fixer upper-that was brave. Changing your kids school and all of us making new friends-that was brave. Running my first 5K, when I hate to run and only ran in the past for sports conditioning- that was brave.  Helping my husband work on our home, learning to do everything ourselves, and building a barn, getting goats and fencing in our whole property-that is brave. Saying yes to being a Mentor Mom to other young moms through Lakewood's MOPS ministry and laughing, crying, sharing your story- giving God the glory, and putting your arm around them as they share theirs- that is brave. Tithing and placing your full trust in God to provide when there looks like there isn't even enough money - that is brave. Making new friends with people who will hold you accountable and speak God's truth into your life whether you want to hear it or not-that is brave.
Choosing to be counter-cultural, train your  children up and parent them according to God's word and not what the latest liberal - popular psycho babble parenting trend is- that is brave.

       So mama friends, and anyone else reading this today, I want you to know that YOU ARE BRAVE! Maybe you are like me. Maybe you don't believe that you once were brave , are brave, and will be brave again. Maybe you don't know the God that I know and how he guides you holds, your hand, and helps you be brave. Maybe you need to ask God right now to help you remember how he has come through for you or that you need him to come through for you and save your heart right now. Maybe you need his help remembering how he is always faithful, and how he has trained you up with his Holy word, to be a brave daughter or son of the King of Kings. Maybe a door has been opened for you but it is different, scary, out of your comfort zone door to walk through. Remind yourself that you are brave and that it is not about what you can accomplish in your mere human strength but what you can accomplish with God and what he an do in and through you, if you allow him to take your hand and walk ahead of your through that door. It may seem like a dessert. Like you don't know where the water source is, where the spikey plants are, where the shelter is, or the dangerous animals and poisonous snakes are, BUT your guide- your Brave King, he has already been there. He knows all the answers and I am positive that your obedience and bravery will be honored, blessed and rewarded. I read last summer in a Priscilla Shirer Bible study that "bushes don't burn in the palace, bushes burn in the dessert." So join me in being brave. I am writing this blog just as much for myself, because there is an open door, with a lot of unknowns, that I am asking God and His Holy Spirit to help me be brave enough to walk through.

a brave daughter of the King, so thankful He gives me grace for the MOMent,
Lindsey

Hustle ( first blog in 19 months)

Hey, there! Whew! I don't think I have "blogged" or posted on my blog since September 2013!!!! Yikes, life sure does happen and my address has changed 3 times since then! Recently, several people have asked me about my blog and why I stopped blogging. I am not sure other than my laptop broke (got a new one this Christmas) and just lots of change in my life and stress -plus we lived in an unfinished basement for 10 mos after we sold our house in Oct. 2013, while we looked forever to find our current home and I HAD and still HAVE tons to write about from basement life but just have a lot to process first. SO a friend told me that I was basically blogging through facebook ( which I realize is true- just easier to write and post thru my phone when I feel led to.) So I am going to go back through some of my facebook blog-like posts and re-post on my blog for those of you who would rather read through this format! Thanks for reading:)

 HUSTLE

 This year we sure are enjoying watching, coaching, and cheering on Harleigh and
Maverick in their first basketball season and first time playing a
sport. They aren't on teams that are having winning seasons and they are
learning a lot about how to NOT give up, even when your team is down

practicing in the rain

several points and to find the "heart" within them and HUSTLE and keep at it until the buzzer sounds at the end of the 4th quarter. With every game they they give their best effort and NOT for a moment sulk or walk up and down the court, or bend over and hang their head- they GET STRONGER. They learn to try and try again. We often learn MUCH MORE from FAILURE and DEFEAT than we ever do from VICTORY and SUCESS. 

If  Maverick's team won a lot of games I am not so sure he would come home after every game and shoot basketball for hours because he wants to play better next week- or practice as soon as he gets home from school. If Harleigh's team won most of their games, I am not so sure that she would go to 2 extra practices a week and practice with my and her brother's team to improve her skills. So in a way, I am thankful they havn't had it easy this first season.

I was always small growing up- like Harleigh. I was never the biggest,
tallest, or even the most naturally skilled, but I WANTED IT and decided
that all it took to HUSTLE was to have HEART and give my best effort.

It served me well. I looooved basketball but in high school decided I was better suited for soccer and wanted to play that sport year round - and through hustling was able to play competetivly, travel ball, letter 4 years varisty and later on play a season of college ball. I kind of came up with a motto for myself and later when I became a PE teacher and coach shared it over and over with kids I taught and coached  and now  I am sharing it with my own children.

 " Whatever you lack in talent or skill, make up for in heart and in hustle." - Lindsey Dunahoo Smith

Anyone and Everyone CAN
HUSTLE. You just have to stay on your toes, move your feet, be where theball is, get after it. My kids have SO MUCH to learn about baksetball. They still need to learn the fundamentals, learn to see the court, develop ball sense, become better ball handlers, and improve their skills. All those things will come with time, practice and experience. BUT I can honestly say that after each game win, lose, or tie, we COULD NOT be MORE PROUD TO BETHEIR PARENTS because they Wanted It in their HEARTS and they HUSTLED the entire time their feet were on the floor. They were in tears after each lost game and wanted to know what to work on or how to get better while many around them had already moved onto laughing, what's for lunch?, or lets go to the movies, etc.

We are not going to eat,
sleep, and breathe basketball. We sure do love it, but we AREN'T
counting on our kids getting college scholarships or playing
professionally. If God has other plans then we willbe cool with that too! They already have and will continue to learn so many
life skills and life lessons through playing basketball. They have learned how to get along and play with kids that get on their nerves and that they don't particularly like because they have learned what "team" means and how to work together with others towards a common goal. They have learned how to be tough and play through bumps and bruises. They have learned how to take compliments when strangers commend them for their hustle and heart after a game.They have learned commitment and to stay committed when even some of their peers and leaders have become slack and  thrown in the towel early. Their YES REALLY MEANS YES,( not just when they feel like it or it is convenient)  and they will show up to practice and play for every game and every practice unless they are truly sick or their is a family emergency.  They have learned to never never give up and that the only person they can change and improve is themselves.

 HUSTLE means one thing in athletics, but in the WORK PLACE/ At YOUR JOB, HUSTLE
is Spelled WORK ETHIC. So I am proud of my kids for " Getting After It"whether their team is winning or losing, because OUR values of  HEART and HUSTLE have already translated over to school- academics- contributing to our family at home and will ONE DAY translate overto their work place, their job, and career. 

#HUSTLE
#GETAFTERIT
#Lifelessons

-Lindsey

Grace for the MOMent

first blog in 18 mos test blog

test blog
testing.....