VBS (vacation bible school) ain't just for kids

 A couple months back I registered my kids for VBS. I volunteered, so I got to be a part of the whole VBS week! My kids LOVED LOVED LOVED VBS ( we weren't able to do it last summer because of my work :( and it has been about a year in a half since my kids have gotten to be a part of something like that. They learned songs&choreography, praised Jesus, played games, ate delicious snacks, made crafts, made new friends, re-connected with old friends, learned about facing fear and trusting God through bible stories about Paul.

The thing that BLESSED my heart the most was when Harleigh, my six year old hollered out in the car one morning (after our daily pray out loud in the car time) not to turn the radio on even though we were done praying because she wanted to say her scripture memory verse. I was like what??? Your verse? You already know it? You didn't ask me to help you memorize it! Harleigh said, "I didn't need your help mom!" Then some of the most beautiful, precious, words came out of her mouth....."For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgement." 2 Timothy 1:7
Wow yall! To hear my child hide God's word in her heart.........overwhelmed me with emotion, brought tears to my eyes, and challenged me to be more INTENTIONAL about hiding God's word in my heart so that I can claim His promises, be guided my His truth, and be confident in who I am in Him.

So on top of witnessing my daughter speaking from God's word, I was ministered to all week long! I was greeted, prayed with, hugged and loved on by some precious people that I had been missing! People that are a part of my and Jimmy's story.....back to August 2004 right before we got married. People who were standing outside the delivery room door when our children were born. People who took our children to the doctor for us when we couldn't miss one more day of work. People who walk around our home and prayed. People who committed to us and challenged us to go deeper in our relationship with Christ. People that have invested in us even when we couldn't give any thing back or where too immature to realize their investment. Godly women encouraged me, listened to my heart, provided wise counsel and imparted wisdom that I had been so thirsty for.

I feel like in this season of life I am in I have been running a marathon....or a race that is even longer than that, whatever that's called and after VBS week I was given new shoes for my tired feet, cold-clean water for my thirst, a protein bar for my hunger,  and for my weary heart and mind....encouragement from those cheering me on to finish strong and run well.

I realized that the theme Colossal Coaster World-Jesus is the Ride of You Life, "Fact ing Fear, Trusting God" was just as much for me as it was for the kids. The years 2012-2013 have been a time of transition for me. From being a teacher to a home-maker/odd jobber, going to help in music ministry at small church plant we felt like we were called to help with at the time, trying to keep it together financially after cutting our income in half, fighting with Jimmy to stay together and see this marriage through during a difficult year together with lots of unknowns,  feeling lost as to what my purpose was and lonely because when I quit teaching I was alone and all my teaching friends were busy and life is busy and it's hard to stay close to people that we don't work with and see on a daily  or weekly basis.

It is time for yet another season of transitions that need to be made. Jimmy told me they were coming. I just closed my eye, shrugged my shoulders and hoped I could just think about that another day....but more change is coming and I can fight it with tense shoulders, closed eyes, a broken out face, and sleepless nights OR I can face my fears and start trusting God. My Father, my Savior, my Redeemer and follow where he leads because he knows me like no one else. He only desires the best for his daughter and promises to never forsake me!

VBS week prepared me and brought me to a place where I am ready to face some fears, do some things that are new and scary, run my house-hold a little differently, study the book of James and God's word like I never have before and MOST of all helped me experience PEACE. Super-natural Peace that only comes from resting in Christ and turning the steering wheel back over to Him................Lots of NEW opportunities have fallen into my hands this week. Last week I would have been over-whelmed and paralyzed by fear. But, not this week I am facing fear, trusting God with my eyes open and my hand in His....reminding myself when doubt enters my mind that God has got this!

VBS, it ain't just for kids! So glad I said yyyy-yes to vvv-vbs!


BTW, Jimmy and I have been working hard since my last post to choose to believe the best about each other! Our communication with each other and understanding of each other has improved tremendously. ( We know we still have to keep working at it daily) This is a picture from last night. It is just a real, true, candid shot capturing a genuine moment. Not cheesy or posed, or over done like the ones I would normally post or put in a frame, because these smiles are results from what's going on ....on the inside. :)

Thanks for reading and giving me a place to share my heart!
-Linds

Don't Stop Beleivin'.... .And Don't Hold On To That Feelin'

 Is the famous Journey song playing in your head right now? Don't stop believin', hold onto to that feelin'.... Well....something I have learned and am still learning (keyword: STILL learning,#stubborn #strongwilled... yes even as I write this) is to CHOOSE to believe the BEST about your spouse. I didn't come to this practice on my own but several years ago through very wise counsel from a dear friend and mentor Dawn Smith. It basically means this: in marriage between a man and a woman when your feelings are hurt, expectations unmet, you feel disrespected and your back is against the wall you make a CHOICE to believe the absolute best about your spouse. You have to make a conscious CHOICE because you have to deny what your FLESH is telling you. You have to take captive in prayer every negative thought, feeling, and emotion that swells up, chokes your heart, and paralyzes your mind from thinking objectively, because those are all from our fleshly desires. You start to hold on to those feelings for too long and resentment builds up in your heart and your mind brick by brick. Your get hysterical and historical ( those are NEVER, EVER, EVER a good combination, so don't let those two GET BACK TOGETHER, when you have a fight with your spouse NO, NEVER) and let all the events in the past in which your spouse has hurt you, neglected you, come back to the surface and stew in the crock-pot of your mind. Allowing this to happen takes your focus off believing the best about your spouse and makes your new focus feeling sorry for yourself and life you are owed something. You react and over-react.You want them to know how deeply they hurt you. You give ultimatums. Your lash our verbally and try to tackle to situation without asking God to transform and renew your mind so that you can handle the situation with grace, love and forgiveness. You forget this:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Ephesians 6:11-13
You see Satan detests Gods design for marriage. Two people making a covenant before God to serve and love God first and then serve and love one another for the rest of their lives is the opposite of what we see people do in our culture today. To do marriage God's way, you have to be SELF-LESS. You have to love your spouse with a SELF-LESS love expecting nothing in return and persevering in loving your spouse even if they don't reciprocate. In the Bible through the book of Hosea, God draws us a picture of of what self-less love looks like and how we have to love to our end, love even when it hurts. We are human. We were born sinners and our FLESH wants us to naturally act out of selfishness, but  when we accept salvation through Jesus Christ, we have God's power in us!Yep, we have super-natural power because God's power is within us! A lot of times I just have a brain fart and totally forget to channel the Holy Spirit! We can ask Him to help us deny our selfish desires and love our spouse like God loves us: Unconditionally! ( even if they don't do life with you under your conditions! i.e: don't put their dirty clothes in the hamper, don't put their dishes in the sink,  do pursue their hobbies more in their free time instead of you, don't stick to the budget, don't keep the house as clean and tidy as you'd like, do feel prettier in gym shorts and a t-shirt than they do in heels and a cute dress, don't like to iron, don't make the bed, don't cook the kind of meals you like...... and the list of conditions by we which we want our spouses husband and wife to adhere to go on  and on. 

We have to ask God to give us Grace for the Moment and help us to CHOOSE to believe the best about our spouse. CHOOSE to love them even if we ain't feelin it! So the next time your spouse does something that gets you all jacked-up, leaves you feeling hurt, disrespected, and unloved ask yourself this question: In (name of your spouse) heart of hearts was it his/her intention to intentionally hurt me through saying this, doing that, etc.? Most of the time the answer is gonna be no, nope, and nada IT WAS NOT INTENTIONAL it was NOT something they did on purpose to intentionally cause you grief and pain. It was a choice they made without thinking, careless, rushed, impulsive, or accidental. And if the answer is yes and occasionally it is when we choose to lose control and let it all hang out, we name call, we accuse, you always, we blame,  you made me, your mama..., and try wound to each other...we have to forgive our spouse. Forgive them not just with our words but with our heart and our attitudes. When we are the ones that lose our cool and say foolish things, act childish and selfish don't we want them to give us some Grace and extend that same forgiveness to us? Don't we want our spouse to ALWAYS CHOOSE TO BELIEVE THE BEST ABOUT US? I know I do!

So choose to believe the best about your spouse the next time y'all have a misunderstanding. Jimmy and I are fighting HARD against the spiritual forces of evil to stay a team and continue to do marriage God's way! It HAS been hard. It STILL IS hard, real hard. Wounds, words, sweat, tears, lots of snot, and tissues. But we are still in the fight! Every time we have been knocked down over the past 8 years and 8 months of our marriage God has helped us calm down, seek wise counsel, come to Him, and choose to believe the best about each other! When you believe in each other and believe that deep down your spouse loves the Lord and will do "the next right thing"( shout out to Dawn's husband, Scott Smith) you can get up a lot quicker and the blows you took from the last battle heal faster! 
Just writing this post is challenging me even more.....kind of a form of accountability.

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Grace for the MOMent- First blog, what it's all about!

Hey y'all, I'm Lindsey Smith from Gainesville, Georgia-born and raised and still call it home today! I married Jimmy Smith my high school sweetheart in October 2004. In 2007 God blessed us with a gorgeous baby girl named Harleigh, and in 2008 He surprised us with the handsomest baby boy by the name of Maverick. We love our little 10 year old, 10 pound ball of white fluff we call Trooper. He is our caring canine, but it is our 110 pound, black bolder, loveable labrador Kota that keeps us all on our toes! Jimmy and I met at church my junior year of high school leading worship together for our youth group.(he plays and sings, I just sing, y'all)He is the brains and says I'm the beauty of the duo- ok after two kids in two years if he still thinks that I won't argue. Fast forward 13 years to current day and we are still doing just that. We love Jesus and are a constant work in progress learning how to love God more deeply so that we can best love each other and his people. It is a simple mission but difficult and messy because people our broken and life can be hard.

For the past 6 years I have been a school teacher for our local school system; however, I took this past year "off" to stay home and re-evaluate why was doing life the way I was, what God wants for my life, and have more time to focus on being a wife and mom. I didn't stay at home much though...we kind of needed me to work odd jobs to bring home gas and grocery money. I've kept babies, worked retail, been an administrative assistant, sold stuff on facebook, photography, washed cars, cleaned houses,  organized peoples homes, been a substitute teacher, done a contract teaching job...you name it. Jimmy is the HARDEST most HONEST working man I know! He does manual labor daily for 9-12 hours working outside in the elements as an industrial electrician. We are living in the same housing market and economy as everybody else and until we sell our house, it takes two baby, me and you!

So why a blog? I have always been pretty transparent and being an open book is just how I roll. If I can be honest and share my wins and loses with others and it brings them closer to the God I serve then I am honored to give him the glory for my story. I prayed about and pondered the title of my blog for weeks! And one night or should I say mornin at twelve something AM, Grace for the MOMent hit me. I put the MOM part of moment in all caps because boy...being a mom has put my need for God's grace at a whole new level. Sometimes I have to ask for it moment by moment so I don't lose my cool with Jimmy or the kids. Often times I act out of my flesh and go a little crazy...then I have pray out loud, say I am sorry, and reign my emotions back in. So the scripture that is the basis for my blog title is this one: " Each time He said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

 I will post about things God is teaching me, wisdom He imparts, my marriage, my kids, style and fashion,  pottery barn taste on my yard sale budget, having fun and being frugal, home decor and house hold products I love, and just random things that hit me and I think would be good to share!

And that is just that! Thanks for reading and joining me on this journey...- Lindsey